The Renewed Life – A Story Of Faith And Family Fun
Cancer- Learning To Face The Unknown
Discovering that I had cancer was maybe one of the most difficult things that I had to hear. However, the fight that ensued following is what I have chosen to define me, not the disease. I have struggled with sharing my story for many reasons. What will people think? Will they look at me with self-pity? Will they turn away from me because of the negativity surrounding the disease? Many things went through my mind as I fought this disease and the story that I wanted to share but hesitantly chose not to.
Cancer Will Not Define Me
I did not want my story to define me. I didn’t want my business to suffer from people having the knowledge that I was fighting this. So many questions and thoughts haunted me that shouldn’t have. Would she still be able to work? How will she make her deadlines with everything she is dealing with? What I finally realized was that they were my fears that I had. I feared the unknown and the possibility that my life was about to be turned completely upside down. I feared not seeing my children get married and have children of their own. I feared the loss of my family and my life because of the unknown.
As a Christian, I am secure in one known thing, and that is my future with Christ. I am still human, though, and I am selfish in the fact that I want to spend time with my family. I want to be present for all of those first moments. I want to be healthy enough to run and play with my grandkids when I have them.
Fear Of The Unknown
Fears can consume you and take hold of all of your thoughts, desires, and ambitions. Not talking about your fears, however, does not take them away, it actually helps them to grow. You have that seed of doubt and insecurities that you alone are feeding. When you take the time to share your fears with God, your friends and family, that is when you are able to actually release them. Pray about them with those who care about you and want to see you happy and healthy. Kill those fears and replace them with love and encouragement.
There are some Christians who believe that illness or problems are in your life because of something you are doing wrong, or some sin that you have brought into your life and have not confessed. When I shared my diagnosis with my friends, there were some who prayed for me to see my sin, and stop that sin so I may be healed. This was very hurtful to me. It hindered my ability to share with others when I was not feeling well, or when I needed prayer. When you are going through an illness such as cancer, you need prayer, positivity, and the strength of the Lord fighting for you. You need love.
Learning To Overcome
My story is growing every day. My fight is evolving into different paths that were not even imaginable when I was first diagnosed. I have battled with depression. I have lost friends. I have gained weight. I have been angry with the Lord. I have been angry with myself. All the while, telling God all of these feelings, actually yelling at him sometimes if I’m being completely honest. He knew better than anyone how I was feeling. I felt defeated and inept to finish what He called me to do.
Today, though, today I am empowered. I am empowered by His strength in me. I am empowered by the resolve that God can do all things and I am going to rise above this to help others with their fight as well. I am going to conquer this beast with all of the hope, love, and strength that God has given me.
Having Faith In The Storm
I began Faith And Family Fun prior to learning my diagnosis of uveal melanoma. After I was diagnosed, I struggled with following what God had laid on my heart. I allowed the negative to outweigh the positive. It has been hard to be positive and share His word when I was fighting this battle. Ironically, the one section on my site that has had the least attention is Faith. No, it is not because I am not really a Christian, or I don’t really know His word as some have suggested. It was because of this battle that I was fighting quietly that I was not sharing with my readers. It was on those days where I was struggling the most that He placed someone in my path that needed to hear His grace and see His love. Every time I was feeling down, God gave me the strength to share something powerful to lift someone else. I have always been asked how I stay positive and how I am moving forward while dealing with all of the struggles that I am faced with. It is a true testimony to the power of Christ who strengthens me when I am able to respond with “By God’s grace and a lot of prayer!”
With God’s grace, I am winning my battle with cancer. I am on an upwards climb to victory. I am happy to say that my tumor has stopped growing, and I am in remission. My battle is not over, but I am winning. Now I am helping others learn more about cancer, and finding ways to fight that I never knew existed. Recently I had genetics testing done and learned that I do have the gene for breast cancer, as well as several other cancers that run in my family. So what does this mean for my future? It means that I am now watched even closer by my oncologists. It means that I now have several oncologists that are screening me every 2 months rather than every 6 months. It means that although the results show I have the genes, it does not define my prognosis. It gives me the tools to empower myself and be proactive in the fight against this beast. It allows me the opportunity to help others see the importance in the decision to be tested. It helps me be a part of the battle scientifically, as now my genes are being compared to others to help find a cure for cancer.
Not My Battle Alone
Next, on my fight with this beast, I will be having a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery within the next several months. I am sharing this so others can see this journey that I am taking and not be fearful of the unknown. Knowledge is power. This will not be easy, but I know that God will be with me. If I am able to help just one other person with their fight aginst cancer, and the crippling feelings that come with it, then I have succeeded. My next appointments with my surgeons and oncologists will be shared with you. I hope that you come along for this journey with me, and share your thoughts and prayers. As terrifying as it may seem, it would be even more terrifying without the support of my family, friends, and the knowledge that God is leading me all the way.
Thanks To My Readers
Faith And Family Fun has been my baby that has kept me positive and in His Word. I am so thankful to those who have helped me along the way giving me the opportunity to work from wherever I was while going through my treatments. It has been a blessing to have the opportunity to stay at home with my family and not stress over losing a job while having my treatments and appointments. Knowing that I had others looking to me for encouragement and family fun, has helped me more than you can imagine. Thank you all for your support and encouragement. Though you were not aware of the battles I have been facing, you have been part of the foundation that has kept me together. I hope that the stories in my new series “The Renewed Life” about my fight can be an encouragement to you or someone you know. Thank you for your support of Faith And Family Fun Magazine!